da real me
Mood:  d'oh
my name is Tina Marie Swain i am 15 years old i will be 16 on October 7. I have 3 sisters and 1 brother. mY parents have been divoreced since i was 2. i grew up an only child until i was 8. my mom married my step dad scott. which i absolutely hate. he treats me like shit and he doesnt care about me,,i cant talk to him about anything. My real dad George is never there for me but its kinda not his fault. My dad lives in my home town Marion, Indiana. I havnt seen my dad for a year,,,and im use to seeing him every other weekend. Now he is moving to michigan which i will never get to see him. I have no one to talk to about ne of this. Because i dont know who my real friends are anymore. I just know im trying to figure out who i am,,,who i want to be,,,,and how to get there. Usually my big mouth gets me into trouble,, i have been known to be the rebel out of my friends,,but i think its turned around on me. I look at my friends i have now and no effence but they are worse than i could ever be. My hole freshman year i have been trying to be somebody im not,,i want to be me but different from everyone else. ITs hard for me to be different cause all of the rules and guidence from my mom and step dad. THey control my life like every other teenagers parents do. They dont understand my point of view on things,,all they care about is what they think is right or wrong...they think if you do other than what they say then you are a bad kid. When really you are just trying to face reality. Test your limits,,test others,,take risks,,make mistakes,,isnt that what teenagers do? If they went through it then why do they put us down for it. Why not try to explain rather than punish us? Maybe we could understand more,and realize why its wrong or why it isnt. Like every other teenager im tired of being pushed around,,but there is nothing you can do about it when you have to deal with your parents. If i could i would be an emo kid,,i would have black hair with purple bangs,,i cant b/c my parents dont think that i should be different from everyone else or that it would look stupid. well to me being different is a way to express yourself..style especially. like i always say if everyone was the same the world would be boring! Why not mix it up a little bit?
Most people do not know the real me whether its because they dont try to get to know me or if i just dont act like me. Im tired of acting like someone im not, and im tired of people thinking im a fake. i like being different but not to the point where people think im weird, but i want to people to realize there is nothing wrong with being different.


-T!N@

Currently listening:
American Apathy
By Dope
Release date: By 26 July, 2005